July 30th, 2002


It must be Tuesday's I never could get the hang of tuesdays

So I'm a little grumpy today

warning - may be a little ranty

I want to go to pheno, and I'm waiting on other ppl to 'think about it' and its all
kind of tricky and a pain in the arse, and then there is that little voice in the back of my head saying i can't afford it and that money would be better spend on other things and when i have been having trouble and being forced to decide between food and medecine I shouldn't be being frivolous

And then there is the other part - which is counting down sleeps til boy arrives, but simultanously getting frustrated because he will be gone again soon enough and its too many sleeps after that til i see him again - and how much of me just wants to go to pheno to be with boy, and this whole not being albe to see each other cos of those stupid 600km and its frustrating and I'm grumpy and angry about it and it hurts, stupid love, it sucks and some days i just want it to go away, but not really, what i really want is a teleport machine!

or it to be the end of the year now

and everything having worked out fine between now and then, and me with a new job and me and madi with our cats going forth bravely to find a new house and garden and me with a funky job thats interesting and challenging and not me sitting in a little office and rotting.

It's amazing how much just having someone to hold and curl up and sleep with can be a good thing, and not being able to can be so fruxtrating.


I shouldn't be grumpy, there are good things too, like boy coming down this weekend and seeing the snow and walking in fog and winter is nearly over

But it's tuesday and i never like tuesdays

Sore joints - so i haven't been taking all my medecine - i can't afford it so i'm rationing it out. My kneee is all swollen it hasn't done that in ages and my elbow is twinging to. Not huge amounts of pain - cept i think it has been a while so i'm feeling it more

I've also got a headache and really just want to go home and curl up on the counch and watch pride and prejudice with madi -0 I've been not feeling well abit laterely - oh well - i get all me overtime pay next payday hopefully - so i should be able to pay of those nasty bills and be back to being a=ble to afford medecation again. stupid big lot of bills all arrived at once - and i've beenand i have been trying to pay them all off.

All this tavelling isn't helping either :)

It's second day back of semseter so my labs are full of students slowing down my net connection and asking stupid questions.

I went to meaegans last nite and learned how to start and stop knitting - that was exciting and I already know what my next project will be :) - given madi's scarf is very close to finished :)

I need to go to spotlight and by a wool darning needle.

I think i also need to reboot my computer - shrug - know what i really need to do is upgrade it to the latest version of redhat.

backup time

thanks for listening to my rant - somehow venting makes things a little better
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