November 8th, 2002


It's time

I'm walking in the park - its a beautiful nite, its warm, there are baby ducks and a lake and a park with a big black steam train engine.

I get a phone call - my father, he says umm, I say 'what's broken' assuming its a tech support call as per usual, he responds 'nan'. Nanna went into a coma the other day, and woke up about 2am this morning, mum and dad got a call from the hospital saying this is it - and they have rushed to the hospital, nan seems okay - they spend all day talking, leaving about 6pm assuming its all come good. Nan died at about 6.30pm this evening.

I'm kind of numb. I haven't cried yet - this being me the girl who always cries easily. It's a nice nite, my boy is due in the next two hours, and I don't really know.

I assume it will happen. The common sense part of me keeps saying its not a bad thing, she had lived an amazing life, was lucid till the end, and ready to go, sick of being sick.

Boy will prolly stay in town a couple of more days - come to a funeral with me. I expect mum will call tomorrow with details - dad was sounding stressed having to make phonecalls - thats usually mum's thing.

Boy will need a suit - I'll need to decide what to wear - at least dressing for funerals is something goths can do well.

I need a copy of Psalm 23 thats not from a gideon's bible - at the moment i've got the old Malaclyse III song - Psalm 23 - cos milk crates are my gods

I haven't cried yet

Boy arrives soon

I was waiting for it, I've been expecting it, hell I've been told for the last 6 years or so its her last xmas. 103 is old, the queens mum is dead... and now nana gets to go to heaven.

C'est la via if my french is any good.

Take care all of you and remember the good things.
  • Current Music
    Psalm 23 - Malaclypse III